• DistressedDesignsCo

Relationships (in a time like this)

So relationships right? Where do I start with this one...

Relationships are super important in all of our lives, especially during harder times, like the current corona outbreak situation. The current mandate of social isolation has rendered us inside and unable to really feel human contact. Fortunately we live in a time where we are all still connected through the internet via social media, but I think we can agree: it’s not the same as being able to get out and see the faces of those we love.

In a time like this, that inability to connect can be very hard for people. This is why I think one concept is super important in a time like this: What’s our relationship like with ourselves? When I say “relationships” I mean all of them, not just romantic. Love is more than romance, we need to find it within ourselves and can just as easily spread it in our platonic relationships!

What’s your relationship like yourself? What does that mean? A lot of things of course, but I’ll make it as simple as possible: How do you personally feel about yourself in body and mind? It’s a very important concept that bleeds into our actions and reactions based on self-esteem.

Our relationship with ourselves is arguably the most important one out there! Practicing self-love is not an easy task. It’s important that we try our best to practice this. To make this easier, It’s very important to understand two facts: we can’t control what we are born with and into. As individuals, we can make decisions on just about everything else. Try focusing on who you are, and what you want to get out of life. I know this sounds easier said than done, but do the things YOU want to do. Take up hobbies you enjoy. If you don’t have any, try dipping your toes into several new pools. How do you know unless you try, right?

Making the decision to do something that we enjoy rather than something ‘“just to pass the time” can benefit you so much. Who knows, you might just find your overall mood rising. This translates across your decisions from the clothes you wear, to what to eat/drink and so on. This concept at times can require letting go of those things we can’t control. It’s what makes it difficult. The less we focus on the things out of our control, the easier it gets to be in control of our happiness. This requires radical acceptance and peace of mind that there simply are times we have to see what life has given us. (On a personal note, while reflecting on growing up, using this thought process helped me have a deep appreciation for the past and present; hopeful for the future.)

Once we grasp what our relationship with ourself is like, our relationships with others is what’s left. This includes both romantic and platonic relationships. I want to note here a basic understanding that gender should not matter in how you love your friends. It’s cool for men to say things like , “I love you,” to each other. It’s 2020 friends. And on the other hand, you can love a friend of your preferred romantic gender without it having to be romantic. Sex does not have to be attached to everything in life! If you’re in a romantic relationship, this may be easier. If you’re single, don’t necessarily be looking for romance all the time. Take time to develop strong bonds with your friends; try opening up; focus on loving relationships (once again including yourself). You may find some inner growth just a little bit everyday. We learn a lot about ourselves and those around us through connection and communication.

This all leads back to a final concept on why our relationships with ourselves AND others are so important. It’s simple. I’d say most people out there are searching for their ideal romance right? Well if we are able to love ourselves first (let go of what needs to be and change what needs to be). it makes it a lot easier to open up to others. Naturally, this bleeds into our relationships with others, improving things like honesty and trust without question. We grow deeper connections with the friends we already have. We find ourselves letting go of cancerous relationships easier. In essence, it makes it easier to find the people out there who are on the same wavelength as you, and who are not (spend time around the people who share happiness and growth with you, that simple). Through this we develop things like self-awareness about how we love. Leading to romance, it’s not rocket science. You are more likely to find romantic love that is mutually beneficial. It makes decisions a little easier based on what’s best for ourselves. We can ultimately distinguish what is love, and simply what may be just sex. Again, tracing all back to: How can one love others, without first loving thyself?

Now this is my personal opinion on this.... I’m not saying that there’s a right way of thought here. If your belief is that you have to go looking for love/relationships to find it, and that works for you, more power to you. I’m not saying this is the only way to do to things or even definitively how to be happy. At the end of the day, happiness is affected by just about everything. If your relationships are good, and you’re truly happy, keep killing it! I’m simply sharing some concepts I’ve used in my life to foster love and growth. Who knows you might even start finding love everywhere around you?

To those I’ve known my whole life and those I’ve met over the past few years:

I love you guys, thank you for helping me grow everyday. The love that’s been given, could not be more appreciated.


(Edited by Wednesday)

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